Episode 002: Cheers to “Enough”

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So, friends, let’s chat today about a word I have a fairly complex relationship with.  That is the word: enough.

I’ll explain.  I think “Enough” has turned into one of those 21st-century buzz words that is meant to comfort and empower us.  I hear it from parenting resources all the time:  I am enough for my family.  I am enough for my job.  The list goes on and on. It’s a lovely concept, and well-intentioned for sure, but sometimes it feels empty to me.  What exactly is enough?  Is it another word for “sufficient” or “adequate”?  Because for an over-achiever like me, my standards for things like parenting, teaching, and, well, my life, stretch far past some idea of mediocre fulfillment. 

I think the concept of “enough” is particularly dicey for us as musicians ourselves – and teachers of music. Think about it: don’t we spend a crazy amount of our lives chasing “enough”, when our field is built on concepts that can’t really be quantified or measured?

For example:  As musicians, don’t we all wrestle with that timeless question, “when have I practiced enough”  (side note:  is that answer EVER yes?)

Don’t we question when our recital programs are balanced enough?  Before a performance, are we rested enough, warmed-up enough, prepared enough.  Even before that performance – is there enough concert black clothing hanging in our closets?  J

For teachers, do we constantly ask ourselves if we are educated enough (or experienced enough) to be teaching what we’re teaching?  Do obsess over whether we have enough students on our rosters? Or if we’re spending enough time with our families?    

What about our lessons themselves?  Are we teaching our students enough about music and how to achieve it with their instrument?

Well…let me ask you this:  Have you ever sat down and tried to write down everything you actually want to impart to your students? 

Well, I started to myself… and here’s a small drop in the bucket of what I came up with:

There are “big picture goals”:  things like, I want every student who enters my studio to gain a life-long love of music.  I want them to appreciate music of different styles.  I want to help students of any age make “musician” a part of their identity.  Of course, simply put, I want them to enjoy making music. 100%. Full stop. 

BUT – at least here in piano teacher land, a well-rounded music lesson involves a lot of things.  There are basic elements like:

•         Understanding that rhythm is more than a series of dots on the page
•         Being able to move to music and internalize that sense of pulse
•         Play with healthy technique so their physical approach to the instrument never hinders their ability to convey what they wish to communicate
•         Become competent readers of standard notation
•         Understand functional skills:  chord charts, transpositions, playing from open scores, improvisations
•         Know their theory
•         Scales, arpeggios, chord progressions

THEN there are even more involved concepts…

•         Developing aural skills
•         16 types of staccatos
•         Becoming a deep, analytical listener
•         Understanding standard performance practice for each historical time period
•         Ornamentation – both the rules of it and how to achieve it well
•         Historical significance of particular works
•         Composers
•         Performers
•         How to cope with performance anxieties
•         How to be a good collaborator
•         Composition
•         Appropriate concert dress and stage etiquette
•         How to practice effectively

…with all these expectations placed on ourselves, it’s no WONDER we’re all exhausted…and it’s no surprise that we can find ourselves struggling with what, exactly, is ENOUGH to cover in our lessons? 

Well, I think we should address that today. 

Lately, I’ve been painfully aware that I am most guilty of sweating my lesson plans for my BEST, most prepared and quickly-moving students.  Once a lesson wraps, I’ve caught myself feeling consistently guilty for what we are NOT getting done, rather than celebrating and being content with the incredible things that are actually happening.  The universe must be getting in on the joke, because on more than one occasion recently, I’ve ended a lesson secretly kicking myself for not getting enough assigned, or not having time to talk about a new technique, only to have the student and/or their parent message me and tell me how amazing they think I am.  That’s a humbling one, my friends. 

The truth is, my students are doing great.  The other truth is, our students (and their families) only know what we teach them.  They have no clue about that giant laundry list I rattled off earlier.  They don’t know you didn’t have time to fully correct that gentle release at the end of their phrase.  They don’t know you wanted to introduce lead sheets today and you ran out of time.  No one knows you introduced a concept out of sequence.  They only know about the experience they had.  And, chances are, they enjoyed it.  

It reminds me of some great advice my mother-in-law once gave me early in my married life.  I was preparing to host my first party, and I was sweating over that age-old question of how much food to prepare.  She wisely reminded me:  No one knows the food you didn’t serve.  They’ll never know you were planning to make a second lasagna, or ran out of money for a third beverage option.  They won’t see what you forgot; they’ll simply enjoy eating what’s there. 

My friends, our lessons are the EXACT same way.  Our students don’t know (or even care to know) the expansive knowledge we carry in our brains.  They want to have a great time playing their instrument.  End of story.

SO – let’s make a pact today to decide what is, indeed, ENOUGH to consider a lesson successful. 

Since it’s my podcast, I guess I’ll go first.  I’ve come up with three things:

ONE – did the student learn something new today?

TWO – did the student leave their lesson with a positive vibe?

THREE – did I make a notable effort to connect with my student as an individual?

             (re: does my student know I am invested in them as a human being?)

(TOAST)

Let it be noted:  there will be times when the answers to these questions will be no.  It’s also important to give yourself grace and know that one lackluster lesson does not ruin a students’ overall experience.  There is no perfect formula to define success in the music lesson.

So, friends, now it’s YOUR turn!  I would love to hear your parameters for what defines a successful music lesson.  How do YOU determine whether you are doing enough for your students?