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Hello, teacher friends and welcome to episode 25 – that feels like kind of a big deal, right?  Of the Beyond Measure Podcast.  My name is Christina Whitlock, and I host this happy little place on the airwaves – here whenever you need me as your Anytime Piano Teacher Friend.

Today, we’re talking about The Small Stuff.  I can’t say that without thinking of a little book that was popular many years ago called, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff (and it’s all small stuff).  The book was by Richard Carlson and the subtitle reads, “Simple ways to keep the little things from taking over your life”.  It was, essentially, a battle cry for a less-anxious lifestyle.  It sought to convince us that we should STOP putting our attention on things that are of little consequence in the overall scheme of our lives.

Sounds great, right?  And I don’t disagree.  When I’m evaluating decisions in my life, one reminder always helps me.  I tell myself to focus my efforts on things that will last.  That, to me, feels like “the big stuff”.

BUT – all that said, I think SO much of our success as teachers involves paying attention to The Small Stuff.

There’s a quote by Catherine Wallace that floats around the internet, and I’ve always loved it.  She says, “Listen earnestly to anything children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.”

In a nutshell, friends, when you’re dealing with children, it’s ALL BIG STUFF.

We all laugh about how long it can take a young student to choose the perfect sticker.  Or what to wear for the recital.  Or which scale they want to play, when given the choice…

But we must ALWAYS remember, as adults, whether we realize it or not, we’ve been trained to look at “the big picture”.  We have lived enough life to understand the concept of perspective.  Priorities.  Consequence.  All those things.  But that is not an understanding children have.  Sure, they’re learning, but we CAN’T expect them to understand the difference between “the small stuff” and “the big stuff”.

This is why it is so important students feel empowered and capable at every level of their musical study. The number of students who will have the tenacity to stick out their instrument simply by being told, “it will get better” and, “Just wait until you can do this, then we can REALLY take off”…

The small stuff IS the big stuff.  They don’t know the future path of their studies like we do.  They don’t know the articulation they’re learning today is ultimately going to be used to perfect their phrasing in advancing repertoire. We do, but they don’t.  They just know what they’re learning in that moment.

Each skill.  Each practice technique.  Each rehearsal.  This is why students often feel so defeated after a single lackluster performance. They don’t see their musical journey on a broad scale; all they know is they feel defeated at that moment.  End of story..

Of course, over time, music study becomes an incredible vehicle to help PROVE the importance of perspective.  We can all pat ourselves on the back that we are contributing to lives each week in a way that will help them develop the ability to plan long-term.  To develop an appreciation for investment, for perspective that one bad performance doesn’t mean they are a bad musician.  That’s incredible.  And, of course, as teachers, we have to keep our eyes on the big picture.

BUT – we can’t give the gift of perspective to students if we don’t keep them in our studios.  And that, friends, is where my obsession with The Small Stuff enters.

A few years ago, I spent a lot of time collaborating with a local middle school choir.  I will say this – if you don’t already know it, middle school choir and band teachers are angels on earth.  I’ve been fortunate to work with several in my lifetime, and I have so much respect for what they are able to balance.  The music made by these students – at what is likely the most awkward point in their lives – touches my soul on a very deep level.  Of course, just maintaining a basic sense of order in the classroom at this age is a pretty Herculean feat, if you ask me.

Anyway, I say this because, one particular rehearsal, students entered the choir room just after lunch.  The energy was high.  The director quieted her students, gave some directions for rehearsal that day, and asked if there were any questions.  Several students asked course-related questions, and then, out of nowhere, one young lady raised her hand, and simply said, “I don’t have a question, but I just have to tell you I got to have a sucker at lunch and it was my favorite flavor!”.  I’m sure I don’t have to tell you – those types of random sentiments are a pretty common occurrence at this age.  But, while most of us would be tempted to roll our eyes and tell the student to stay focused on the task at hand, this brilliant director looked the girl in the eyes, said, “wow – I’m really happy for you!” … and moved right on.

To me, this is a great example of not dismissing The Small Stuff.  Had the teacher expressed frustration over the randomness of her comment, this student would have felt some combination of rejection, embarrassment, frustration… all kinds of things.  Instead, simply by choosing to acknowledge the comment, this student felt seen, acknowledged, and, for the record, everyone smiled when she made this announcement, so she got to share good news with the class.  Which, for the record, is something I think we ALL need more of.

Let me give you another non-musical example.  A few years back, my daughter begged be to let her bring birthday cupcakes into her class on the first day of school.  So, I lugged 24 cupcakes to the front office on what HAS to be one of the craziest days of the school year.  The front office area was PACKED with students and parents.  Lots of families who hadn’t registered ahead of time like they were supposed to, people trying to find out teachers and room assignments, nervous parents, excited kiddos… you name it; they were ALL there.  I was waiting my turn to drop the cupcakes off at the desk, and I was watching our two superstar secretaries handle this chaos with superhuman skill.  Just as I was almost to the front of the desk, I watched a secretary getting a new student registered.  The parent was not being particularly helpful, and I’m SURE she was secretly sweating bullets.  But – there was a point at which she was guiding this little guy in the right direction by placing her hands on his shoulders so he wouldn’t get lost in the crowd, and she stopped in her tracks, knelt down in front of him – in ALL this chaos – and said, “kindergarten, huh?  You must be so excited.”  I watched this little boy’s body language COMPLETELY change.  He smiled and enthusiastically nodded his head.  I can’t tell you how moved I was by watching this.  In a situation where she had to feel pressures of time and chaos and noise and frustration, she took this moment to look this little one in his eyes and acknowledge his feelings.  That moment spoke so many life lessons to me.

SO, friends – my question is this – how good are you at acknowledging The Small Stuff in your musical studies?  Hear me, of COURSE this has to be approached with a careful balance.  We DO have tasks and goals and expectations to keep in our lessons.  Regardless of how solid our relationship is with our students is, if we’re NOT getting the work done, they’re NOT going to stay.

BUT – have you ever asked a student how that science presentation they were working on last week went?  Or if their team won the championship basketball game?  If so, you can often see a tiny little spark in your students’ eyes when they realize you remembered that thing that was so important to them a week before.

Right now, with all of my students online, I have several littles who love to show me their favorite toys, books, games, pets, you name it.  It’s easy to feel like these things are distractions or wastes of time, but really, that student is secretly telling you they want to share their favorite things with you.  They are opening up to you.  And, if you can find that balance between letting them know you are invested in them, AND getting the work done, then that’s basically as good as it gets, my friend.

I should probably note, I know some of you are sitting there thinking about parents.  Parents OFTEN panic when they see or hear their student wandering “off topic”.  I actually begin all my studio relationships by letting parents know that I see chit-chat as a really important part of the teacher-student relationship.  I am very upfront that I need the student to trust me, and part of that trust comes from allowing them to open up to me about things that matter.

From the parent angle, I can tell you: this is HARD.  We REALLY like our kids to stay on task, and at first glance, it’s hard not to feel like you’re not getting the most for your money if you think your kid is “wasting time”.  This is where you need to keep the perspective we talked about in Episode 11 about Believing The Best in your studio families.  Try including a lighthearted reminder that a small amount of conversation is good for establishing positive student relationships in the studio.

One last note:  I would argue this idea about paying attention to The Small Stuff is true at any age, when it comes to music study.  Regardless of age, when a student makes a comment – regardless of how casually they say it – about how uncomfortable a hand position is, or how frustrated they feel, or how they are apprehensive about an upcoming performance…  be careful not to dismiss their feelings.  Pay attention to the stuff that seems small, because it might be bigger than you think.

It’s not easy, friends.  Allow me to send you off today with a toast:

Music teacher friends of the world, I raise my glass to you today.  No one knows how many considerations you work through to make a successful lesson experience for your students.  It’s so easy to feel like your efforts are going unnoticed, but I SEE YOU.  This is me, celebrating YOU for the way you empower and encourage your students.  Today, we renew our commitment to PAYING ATTENTION to The Small Stuff as often as we can.  Not in a way that causes us to get bogged down in ridiculous details, but in a way that allows us to see concerns and opportunities for what they really are.  After all, The Small Stuff is oh-so-often also The Big Stuff.

Cheers to you, my friends!  Here here.

That is a WRAP on episode 25!  Thank you for joining me, and helping to cheerlead me along this endeavor.  I received THE LOVELIEST review on Apple Podcasts this week from a Janis Murray, who said all kinds of wonderful things about this program, including referring to it as the HIGHLIGHT of her morning run.  So, Janis, if you’re listening, you’re amazing!  Thanks so much for the positive feedback, and I think you are a superstar for getting that run in today.  J

If you want to be cool like Janis, make sure you leave me a positive review on Apple podcasts, and maybe I’ll send a shoutout to you in a future episode!  Make sure you’re following Beyond Measure Podcast on Instagram and Facebook!  Feel free to email me at [email protected].

There is so much excitement in the air, my friends.  I hope you’re feeling it and are ready to make this week your best yet.  Until we chat again, keep on shining!