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Episode 255: Cheers to Remembering The Kids Are Alright

Well, hello there, my studio teacher friends!  My name is Christina Whitlock and I’d like to welcome you to the Beyond Measure Podcast. This show is built around the fact that spending time with other teachers is good for the soul. I always walk away from conversations with other teachers feeling energized and renewed in a way that I can’t seem to achieve any other way. We truly are better together. Unfortunately, we also have ridiculous schedules and bizarre work hours, so it can be difficult to find time to spend together. That’s exactly why I’m here, serving as your Anytime Piano Teacher Friend, ready to share some solidarity whenever your schedule allows for it. I’m so glad you’re here. Let’s get on with the show!  You are listening to episode 255 of the Beyond Measure Podcast.

So, hi… I’m back in your ears again after (another) unexpected podcast break. I feel like I had SUCH a good run for 5.5 years of publishing an episode almost every single week. And then came 2026 – phew. Consistency around Beyond Measure has been in short supply lately. And – it’s fine – this is a passion project of mine and I am a production team of one. So I know it’s FINE to take time off. In light of my current season of life, it makes SENSE to take time off. There are only so many hours in the day and I’m trying to distribute my attention to the things that need it most.

…but I guess I just want to say I really do miss you when I’m not publishing episodes.  It doesn’t make any sense, I know, but I feel connected to this community when you listen. It is absolutely a two-way street here. I record episodes, and you listen. Both sides of that equation matter. And I’m not fully myself when that symbiosis isn’t happening.

SO: here I am today. I’ll let you in on some behind-the-scenes information: I’ve drafted three different episodes to release today, and none of them felt right.

Instead, I want to offer up one simple reminder today: The Kids Are Alright.

The kids are alright. Our STUDENTS are alright. In fact, they’re better than alright.

Here’s what I mean: As teachers, it’s easy to fixate on problem areas. ESPECIALLY this time of year, when many of us have performance events on our calendars. We tend to be on “high alert” this time of year.

If we’re not careful, we reduce our students to their weakest characteristics. We see Johnny as The Kid Who Always Plays Too Fast. Or Sarah as The Girl With The Funky Technique. Then there’s Stevie: The Boy Who Hates Every Piece of Music We Show Him… and don’t forget Molly: The One That Always Cries.

Something I’ve said over and over again on this show is: I don’t want my students to see their playing as a problem to be fixed. That’s the trap I fell into for a LONG time with my playing. I would end every practice session and every performance reflecting on the laundry list of ways I came up short. I thought that was the job of the “serious musician”: to constantly monitor my weaknesses. I was missing the whole point of making music. It’s not a thing to be corrected. Music is communication. It’s expression. It’s sharing. It is sharpening… but not at the expense of all the good stuff. We have to take it all in or we will be miserable. Ask me how I know.

And – just like I don’t want students to view their PLAYING as a problem to be fixed – I don’t want teachers to see their STUDENTS as problems to be fixed. Your students are SO MUCH MORE than their weak areas.

That sounds obvious, but I have to say: a lot of us, ESPECIALLY this time of year, reduce our students to their weaknesses. We fixate on their struggles. We define them in our minds by how prepared they are for the upcoming performance event. Their lessons become akin to a game of whack-a-mole where we jump from one problem to another and lose sight of the whole point of performing music.

AND I GET IT: about 2 weeks before a performance, I always find myself feeling like everyone is losing their minds. We’ll be cooking along for WEEKS on a lovely timeline of preparation, then there’s SOMETHING about that two-week mark before a performance where I wonder if anyone is going to pull their act together.

Then – of course – the performance comes, their preparation pays off, students are glowing, families are happy… all is right with the world.

The kids are alright.  Even when they have notable areas for improvement. Even when their rhythm needs work. Even when they have memory slips or a lackluster performance. Our students are alright. They’re BETTER than alright. They have us!

I guess I’m thinking about this because we JUST celebrated Mother’s Day here in the US, and there is a lot of carryover from this Teacher Message into Parent World. This has been my most challenging year of parenting to date. Bar none. Pandemic Lockdown was hard. Really hard. But I think I preferred it to this.

My girls are currently 9 and 15, both ages that bring about BIG developmental milestones and emotional challenges… which means their peer groups are experiencing the same challenges… and everyone copes differently so sometimes things come out sideways. It’s a lot for these young people. At home, at school, everywhere. It’s a lot for them, and it’s a lot for the people trying to raise and nurture them. AND I HAVE GREAT KIDS. In so many ways, I have it “easy”… except, I don’t think there’s any such thing as easy parenting. Especially when you have no control over how OTHER children are parented.

If I’m not careful, it’s tempting for me to fixate on my children’s struggles. And when you give a problem so much of your attention, you end up missing the person behind the struggle. You miss 99% of what’s going on in their life, because you’re only focused on that 1%. You forget some things will improve naturally with age and environment and experience and you just need to stay the course. You think the problems of today will always be problems. But it’s just not true. The kids are alright. They need guidance. They need soft places to land and clear communication to follow, but they’re going to be okay.

This is true of our children, and it’s also true of our students. So yes – Identifying weakness is part of our job. It is our responsibility to help students understand the need for improvement. But we HAVE to take a step back and look at our students through a multi-faceted lens. We need to identify their strengths and their passions. What is surprisingly intuitive to them? What lights them up? Why do they keep coming back for lessons? What role does music play in their life these days? What makes them feel proud? What is the biggest benefit you can offer them as their teacher? What habits might they outgrow? What changes are you seeing in them lately?  How will playing music age with them?

These are ALL important questions, equally worthy of our attention. If we ONLY spend time problem-solving their weaknesses, we will miss enormous opportunities to guide them on their musical journey.

So that’s really it today, friends: A short and simple reminder that your students are alright. They are SO MUCH MORE than their weakest moments. The work you do extends far beyond how little they practice or how difficult it is for them to stay put on the bench. Their musical experience will not be built or destroyed on one performance this spring. AND: the same thing goes for your reputation. Because – let’s face it, friends – one of the reasons we get so worked up this time of year is because we want our students to reflect well ON US. We mistakenly make recitals and performances about US and how WE are seen in our communities… I’ve been there, lived that… and I have to say, I was wrong. Those performance days are not about you.

I’ve drafted a whole episode on that very thing, but I think I’m going to save that content for our May 29^th meetup for Teachers Teaching Teachers. If you don’t know, I host a monthly meetup for SuperFriends in my Patreon Community. This month, I’m actually hosting TWO meetings. One on May 15^th and one on May 29^th. It’s a two-for-one kind of month.

This week, on Friday, May 15^th, I’ll be sharing about some mistakes I made in assigned repertoire this semester. You may know that I pride myself in assigning each student JUST the right repertoire. And the majority of the time, I nail it. But this spring, I had two students really floundering with assigned pieces and I want to talk about the oversights I made. We’re only human, afterall, but I’m hoping I can help you avoid the same mistakes.

THEN, on May 29^th, I’m going to share a recital recap with my SuperFriends.  I’ll be sharing my recital program, my big-picture takeaways from the event (LIKE THE FACT that Recital Day is not about us), and I’m inviting members to share one recital piece they love as well. Ya’ll know I consider myself a repertoire connoisseur, but any time I do a group repertoire share for Teachers Teaching Teachers, I come away with new pieces I love. You won’t want to miss that one.

SO: SuperFriends, I can’t wait to hang with you TWICE this month. If you are NOT part of the Patreon crew but are interested in learning alongside THE BEST colleagues you will find on the internet, check out ChristinaWhitlock.com/superfriends for all the information.

…with all that said, let’s wrap up today with a toast, shall we?  Grab your glass and raise it with me now!

Music Teacher Friends from all around the world: today we celebrate our students for the amazingly complex humans they are. We recognize they are competent, skilled, and resilient. Yes, they have much room for improvement, but we acknowledge the fact that their weakness do not define them as musicians. The kids – the students – are, indeed, alright. And, for the record, so are we.  Here, here!

That’s it for today, friends.  Take a deep breath. Remind yourself of the incredible work you’re doing in your studio.  Goodness exists, even in the face of struggle. Look for it and you will find it. Thanks so much for bearing with me on this wild production schedule I’ve found myself on lately!  I’ll be back next week with more Teacher Solidarity for you. Onward and upward we go, friends!