Episode 92:  Cheers to Parental Communication (AKA My BIG Goal for this year)

What follows is a rough-edit of the episode, so please forgive typos and/or formatting errors.

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Hello, music teacher friends.  Welcome to Episode number 92 of the Beyond Measure Podcast.  Christina Whitlock here, your Anytime Piano Teacher Friend, looking forward to hanging out a bit today and share what’s on my brain today.  As promised last week, today we’re talking about what I’ve chosen as MY primary goal for the 2022-23 Academic Year… which, is… drumroll please, improving my communications to studio parents!  Ahh… let’s do this thing.  😊

Okay.  So.  I don’t entirely know why, but if there’s one common struggle facing, like, EVERY group I know in the 21^st century, it’s COMMUNICATION.  You know I’m right:  every organization, every group, every school, every club, every attempt at bringing more than one human begin together… they ALL struggle on the communication front.  I suspect it has something to do with the fact that we just have too many ways of communicating these days, and we all have different preferences, but there’s something more than that.  I am just constantly dumbfounded at how difficult it is to get 21^st century humans to show up at the same time for the same goal.  😊

…or, sometimes it’s about getting them to NOT show up.  Ha!

I remember sitting with friends at lunch the last time the MTNA National Conference was in Las Vegas, and receiving a text message from a parent asking if we had lessons that day.  It was such a facepalm moment because…let’s see…  my studio closings are distributed on a printed calendar at the beginning of each school year.  Multiple emails would be sent reminding families of studio closings.  I texted reminders before I left town.  I posted cute little reminders the studio was closed on Facebook and Instagram.  Yet still.  After ALL OF THESE THINGS.  I get a text asking if we had lessons that day.  Sigh.  And I know every teacher has similar versions of the same story.   And *I* have versions of the same story from church, school sports, community groups, from academic clubs, from classroom teachers, from friend groups…  I mean, why is communication SO HARD these days?

I wish I had that answer for you today, friends.  But I don’t.  Maybe that’s a big letdown… sorry! 😊

Here’s what I do know: my studio families are investing in me, and in their children… so I want to do everything in my power to communicate optimally with them.  Even if it causes me a deep sigh every once and awhile.

I am not here today to talk about systems or really even strategies, but rather, I wanted to talk about how important it is to REALLY consider how you communicate with studio parents, and where you might be able to improve.

I started giving parental communications a lot of thought last school year, as I began to consider the number of conversations I’ve had with school teachers regarding the behavior of students in their classrooms.

First and foremost, I am a BIG supporter of school classroom teachers.  So do not take anything I’m about to say as a criticism.  I am team teacher all the way.  But – it’s become apparent to me that classroom teachers, surely due to their overwhelming amount of responsibilities, are not always proactive in reporting back to parents how their children are behaving or responding in class.

As a teacher, it’s so easy to assume parents know how their child is behaving in class. When, in actuality, parents really have no clue without communications from the teacher.  If you have children of your own, you know they often behave BETTER in school than they do at home.  Or, perhaps more accurately, they often behave DIFFERENTLY in school than they do at home.

Through various interactions with friends and teachers last year, I began to realize how frequently parents are in the dark on what their child is like in the classroom.  Now, of course, serious concerns are generally brought to light… and I’m not talking about anyone with needs that are being ignored or anything particularly dangerous.  I’m just talking about observations in personality, or focus, or other things.  I think, again, in the overwhelming workload of the school teacher, combined with the routine of spending every day with these students, it’s easy to assume parents know every tendency of their child:  how they respond to stress in class, how they conduct themselves in the classroom or at recess, etc.

When, in actuality, parents just don’t know until someone tells them.

So, Christina – what does any of this have to do with the music studio?  Well, at least in my opinion, plenty 😊

Let me say first:  If you require parents to sit in on their children’s lessons, this is not so much of a struggle.  A parent sitting in the room can see how their child responds to your questions.  They witness how they play, how quickly they are able to make corrections, and how insightful they are in their observations.

But – I think it’s increasingly less-common for teachers to require parental involvement in the lesson… and I *definitely* think it’s less-common for parents to voluntarily WANT to sit in on the lesson.

So.  If you routinely work with a student without the parent present, I want you to consider what you ASSUME the parent knows about their student.  Seriously.  I want you to choose one student from your week whose parent does not sit in on their lesson.  Just one!  Picture that one student right now.  Imagine that student in their lesson, and consider the elements of their character as they interact with you.

Consider how they respond to your feedback.  How often you need to redirect them back to the task at hand (or, on the flip side, how focused they are throughout the lesson).  Consider their energy levels while you are together.  Consider any “quirks” you notice about them.  Do they have any interesting habits?  Do they seem hyper-focused on a particular subject or idea?  How willing are they to try new things?

These are all aspects of this young person’s approach to music lessons that you may assume parents already know and understand.

But I’m here to tell you; you could very likely be wrong about that.

People are funny in music lessons.  Students of every age – even adult students – often behave very differently on the piano bench in front of me than they do in other areas of their life.  Someone incredibly confident in their everyday life may find themselves trembling and stumbling over their words when faced with the task of learning an instrument.  At the same time, individuals who are timid and appear almost afraid to take up space in their everyday lives may find GREAT confidence behind an instrument.  I see it happen all the time.  But if I make the mistake of assuming parents know this about their children in lessons, I risk being very wrong.

I can’t reiterate enough:  students often behave VERY differently in front of a music teacher than they do at home. And I had this lightbulb-type of moment last year when I began to realize JUST how wrong I might have been in my assumptions of what parents know about our lesson time together.

1. ALL THAT TO SAY. My #1 point of focus for my studio this year is parental communication.  I want to be in regular contact with my studio families concerning MUCH more than just studio closings and recital dates.  And – I should probably say – I don’t think I was particularly BAD at it before… but I just know it can be improved, and I’ve decided it matters enough to make it my priority this year.

I have a whole episode on written student evaluations that inserts itself perfectly into this conversation.  I won’t repeat the entire thing here, but I will like that episode in the show notes – it’s number 14.  I will say a few things about writing student evaluations, though.  First of all:  I can’t reiterate enough that writing evaluations is EVERY BIT as much good for YOU as it is for THEM.  In episode 14 I talk about Diane Hidy referring to student evaluations as a way to Sharpen Your Saw – which is an idea probably more accurately attributed to Franklin Covey, but regardless of who said it first, if there is ANY room for improvement in your work with a student, you will discover it when you’re writing their evaluation.  Giving myself purposeful time to reflect and set goals for each individual student is EASILY the most beneficial thing I do for the student AND for me.  And, again, it’s going to help keep parents in the loop.  Secondly, it doesn’t have to take as much time as it seems like it will.  These do not have to be super in-depth reports, nor do you have to do everyone’s all at once.  I’ll let you listen to episode 14 for more brainstorming on that front, but if you’re listening to this and thinking you don’t have the time to make it happen, I’d suggest you re-think that plan.  Third, just a confession: as strongly as I feel about the benefits of written evaluations, I didn’t do them last year.  I had too many students and was simply treading water for most of the year.  So – as always – even though this might be IDEAL, sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.  For me, last year, it was taking the year off of writing evaluations…  it wasn’t necessarily the right or wrong call to make; it’s just what I did.

***
As I was intentionally downsizing my studio this year – I leveraged the fact that parents would see increased communications from me as part of the new benefits they would receive for increased tuition.  Again, it’s not that I feel like I was doing this poorly before; I just know I could do it better, and promising more frequent communication gave me something tangible I could offer as a benefit.

So.  Beyond three written student evaluations per year, I’m not here today to announce I’m utilizing any new apps or programs to help me.  I’m just staying intentional about communications, and trying to increase the scope of what I communicate.

I like to send quick, casual texts to parents at least once a month.  I tend to crank these out as I’m winding down for the evening.  I think I’m going to actually track the parents I sent text updates to each month, to make sure I’m actually getting through everyone.

I do like to use my studio Instagram account to serve as an online scrapbook of our year’s activities.  I’m horrendous at following through to post there, though, so I’m going to aim for a goal of posting at least once per week this year and see how that goes. I think I can motivate myself if I lump it together with my focus on increasing parental communications.

Just in case you’re feeling stuck, I’ve made a quick list of 20 things you can consider communicating with parents.  Some are obvious, some are not.  I’ll include this list in my monthly Insider Report, which is an email list you can join in the show notes.

Off the top of my head, here are 20 things you can choose to communicate with parents:

1. How prepared a student was this week (or this month, or, whatever..)
2. How enthusiastic a student was
3. A piece or an activity they seemed to enjoy
4. Anything that did NOT go as planned
5. Areas where a student is exceeding expectations
6. Where a student is NOT meeting expectations
7. How receptive the student is to your feedback lately
8. Current strengths – musically speaking or otherwise
9. Specific, named goals for the coming month/semester/year
10. Quantity of pieces learned (or scales, or whatever)
11. Suggestions for questions they can be asking at home
12. How openly the student is communicating with you these days
13. Something insightful or entertaining they said
14. Suggestions for at-home performances
15. What you would like at-home practice time to look like
16. Listening suggestions for the family
17. Photos or Video clips from recent lessons
18. Upcoming events or studio closings
19. General concerns
20. (always always always) A sincere thank you for their support AND an invitation to speak about any concerns THEY have.

Phew!  That’s just 20 ideas I came up with for points you can communicate to studio families this year.  Again, a printable version of that list is coming out in this month’s email newsletter – which I call my Insider Report – so if you’re not on my email list, make sure you jump on there to get it.  The link is in the shownotes.

I’m going to wrap this conversation up for today, but I hope you’re inspired by my goal to communicate better with studio families this year.  Again, families are investing in us to provide this musical education for their children, and it’s incredibly important we communicate adequately with them, rather than falling into the trap of assuming they know things they simply don’t know.

And now, friends, a toast, to you:

Music teacher friends from all over the world, I raise my glass to you today and acknowledge ALL the things you do as a teacher of music that are not ACTUALLY related to teaching music.  You know so much more about the students sitting in front of you than you probably even realize.  I hope you are encouraged today to make sure you share your insights, when appropriate, with your student families.  As a parent, I am ALWAYS grateful for the adults who choose to pour into my daughters’ lives, and welcome ANY constructive insights they have for me.  May YOU feel appreciated, respected, and trusted by the families you choose to work with as well.  Cheers to you, my music teacher friends!  Here, here.

Episode 92 is in the books!  Woohoo!  Quick reminder, if you want to receive that printable regarding communication topics for parents, make sure you hop into the shownotes and join the email list.  Or, if you’re having trouble with that, send me an email at [email protected] – or DM me on socials and I get right back to you.  Don’t forget to support the show by signing up for the Patreon community.  Your monthly donations of $3 or $6 really help keep this podcast coming out.

Thank you thank you for listening and telling your friends about the Beyond Measure Podcast!  I adore this audience and am continually humbled by the number of you who listen each and every week.

Onward and upward, teacher friends!  Let’s tackle this week in BIG, GREAT ways, shall we?