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Episode 212: Cheers to Decision Making for Piano Teachers

Well, hello, my teacher friends! Welcome to the Beyond Measure Podcast. My name is Christina Whitlock, and I have taken the liberty of designating myself as your Anytime Piano Teacher Friend.  I love to think about the human condition, and how it shows up in the music studio.  You too?  Oh, good.  Let’s link arms and move beyond the status-quo to build valuable musical experiences that impact our students for a lifetime.  Sound like a plan?  Excellent. Let’s get on with the show.

If you know me at all in real life… you might have burst out laughing when you saw the title of this episode.  It’s possible I’m the least-decisive person on Planet Earth. So who am I to release an episode on decision making for piano teachers?

Well, as is often the case here on Beyond Measure, it’s that struggle that gives me some important perspective on the matter.  I don’t actually WANT to take advice from someone who claims they make decisions easily.  They can’t identify with my Overthinking Brain, can they?

I’m talking about this today because I know fully well there are MANY of us in this profession who claim to be indecisive.

I’ll start off by saying; I’m not entirely sure it’s true.  When it comes to making big, important decisions, I’m actually pretty decent at that. I have a feeling you are, too.

My theory is that it’s far more about the overwhelming number of possibilities and small decisions we have to make as music teachers that do us in.  What if we WEREN’T actually that bad at making decisions?  What if it’s just because we are CONSTANTLY making decisions?

We have to make choices about how we run our businesses. Where our boundaries are. How we can make the numbers balance out.  We decide how to spend our time in each individual lesson.  We make decisions on when something is ready to pass and when it needs another week.  We choose whether our student needs a push or whether they need support. We choose what to work on and in what order. We choose how much professional development we are going to engage in, how much online networking we’re going to do through social media, and what additional income streams we want to add to our portfolio careers, if any.  We choose who we work with, what kind of atmosphere we want to create, and what is most important to us.

In a world where decision fatigue is a known element of every person’s life, I can’t help but think Piano Teacher Life comes with so many ADDITIONAL choices, it’s easy to become crippled by them.

It’s the ultimate double-edged sword, right?  On one hand, it is incredible that we work in a profession where we get to name our price and set our boundaries. By and large, we work on our own terms. There are many people in the world who envy that.

At the same time, it’s exhausting to design your own path. Last summer, Amy Chaplin and I had a chat here on the podcast about how easy it is to become overwhelmed by the number of decisions in piano teacher life. It’s great to have options, but it’s also a burden to continually face a never-ending series of “what if” questions.  Is this enough? Should I charge more?  Did I make the right call?

For those of us who are driven to optimize every situation (ahem), it can be thoroughly exhausting and even discouraging.

Today I have five things I want you to consider when it comes to making decisions for your studio.

First and foremost, I want you to know this: Most of the time, there is no such thing as the RIGHT decision and the WRONG decision.  There is just a decision.

We often agonize over whether we should do a thing or not because, on some level, we think there is one correct decision to be made and it’s up to us to determine which is which.

It’s just not the case.

When we present ourselves with two options: The “right” choice and the “wrong” choice, we often build ourselves a false dichotomy. You know, where we come to believe there are only two options. This causes us to miss other possibilities and also places a weird sense of morality on our choices.

We want to be people who make the RIGHT decisions.  We want to be people who make WISE decisions. And by approaching our choices as though there are only two things: right vs. wrong, wise vs. foolish, etc., we are putting unnecessary pressure on ourselves by failing to see the nuances of our situations.

I once heard Andy Stanley say that the biggest flaw in our ability to make decisions is the fact that we assume we know how the future is going to turn out.  We build our pro-con lists and we do our best to predict how our studio families will react, how our students will be impacted, even how WE are going to feel when we’ve made this elusive CORRECT decision… but we don’t know any of those things. We can’t know.

Thus, we have to think things through, do our research, all the things… but then we have to make a choice.  We have to shake off the weight of trying to make THE RIGHT DECISION and, instead, simply make A decision.

And – as Amy Chaplin and I also talked about in Episode 176 – our decisions are also much less finite than we think they are.  It’s perfectly fine to give something a try, reassess, and change your mind.  I’ve said it from the get-go here on this podcast; we HAVE to be willing to grow and evolve in this profession. We SHOULD change our minds from time to time.

…but our choices don’t have to be qualified as GOOD and BAD.  What if our choices were just… choices?

The second consideration I have for you today comes from Kendra Adachi at The Lazy Genius.  If you don’t know about The Lazy Genius, Kendra has basically built an internet empire on this premise: We have to name what matters.

It’s interesting, really… she does say other smart things, but so much of her content boils down to reminding people to Name What Matters before they make a decision, or when they are trying to solve a problem.

It seems like such simple advice on the surface, but these are the types of ponderances we skip over in lieu of pro-con lists and predictions of what will happen if we choose x, y, or z.

Any time I am faced with a decision, I find the process of Naming What Matters to be the single most clarifying question I can ask myself.

If you’re facing a decision about your studio, you need to ask yourself: What Matters Most?  Do you have a specific financial goal you need to meet?  Do you want to preserve a relationship above all else?  Is there a scheduling constraint you need to work around?  Do you need to find mental peace? What matters most about this decision?

I know, I know… so many times, we’ll find ourselves thinking, “IT ALL MATTERS”… and it might! But one specific need almost always seems to float to the top for me, and I’m always glad when I stop and ask the question, “What matters most about this decision?”

Third on my list of considerations today?  This piggy-backs a little on the previous notion, but I want you to name WHAT YOU WANT.  I work with a LOT of teachers, and we are all pretty terrible at naming what we want. We tend to consider our students, their families, our families, our communities, etc. but we fail to ask ourselves what WE want from this decision.

You know me – I *want* you to consider all those other people. Your final decision NEEDS to consider all parties involved. I’m not suggesting we make every decision in our own best interest. That would be pretty off-brand for me.  My ultimate goal is to build studios where EVERYONE is benefitting and EVERYONE is appreciative. So this is not a matter of naming what you want and blindly choosing that.

…but our feelings DO get a seat at the table.  Our desires deserve to be a contributing factor to the overall decision.

So friends:  thus far, we’ve reminded ourselves that decisions are not RIGHT and WRONG, rather, they’re just decisions.  We’ve reminded ourselves to name what matters most, and to consider our own wants in the process. The fourth item on our list today is this: Seek wise counsel.

When you’re in the midst of a decision that feels heavy, you NEED to talk it through with someone.  And, really, that someone needs to GET IT.   This is why I’m so adamant that our fellow teachers are our greatest asset in this work.  The process of talking your decision through out loud with someone else who understands the ins and outs of our work?  That is valuable stuff, friends.

I can’t help but think of the timing of this episode.  Many of us are finishing up our summer offerings.  For some of you, summer is business as usual and nothing changes about lessons. For others, you offer packages or camps or special opportunities.  Maybe you take a bunch of time off.

Whatever you do, it’s likely you have spent a lot of time thinking those things through. You’ve crunched a lot of numbers, you’ve done your best to gauge interest, and project the success of your ideas.

In my experience, it’s easy to drive yourself crazy spinning through possibility after possibility. But there’s a sense of clarity that comes when you make yourself put your thoughts into words and talk them through with another person. Especially another teacher.

I hope you have a teacher friend that you can chat this stuff out with. I really do. And if you don’t, I hope you find one. It matters.

And I just have to say – if you are someone who doesn’t know who to go to for advice, or who has felt burned by other teachers in the past and finds it hard to open up to others for fear of judgement or rejection… I’ve heard those stories.  You are not alone.

And there ARE good hearted teachers, like myself, who are happy and willing to meet with you and help you work through the decisions that are weighing on your mind.

Yes, you have to pay for it.  And, I know… music teachers hate spending money. Especially for intangible items like coaching.

But what is your peace of mind worth? If you are struggling with overwhelm from studio decisions, it might be worth booking a Teacher Consultation with myself, or one of the many other teachers who offer that service.  There are many great ones out there.

I promise I’m not trying to turn this into a big sales pitch for consultations, but I do want you know there is real value in talking your ideas out with others.  And if you don’t have someone in your life who gets it… well, there are ways to connect with someone who does.  I’ll pop a link in the shownotes for my consultation service, but really… the bigger takeaway is the reminder to stop spinning your ideas in your own head.  Speak the words into existence in a conversation with a like-minded colleague.  You will be much better off.

While we’re on this subject, can I just offer one word of warning?  If you’re the type to seek advice from an online forum… think Facebook Groups or Instagram Surveys or whatnot… there are a few things to always keep in mind.

In theory, it seems like asking a group of 20,000+ piano teachers for their opinions would result in a wide sampling of ideas.  However, that’s not always the case.  When you ask a Facebook group for advice, there are only a small percentage of people who are going to chime in.  You don’t always get a fair representation of ideas. Rather, you end up with insights from the people who were compelled, for whatever reason, to comment. As we all know, sometimes their comments are helpful… and sometimes they are not.

Regardless of how clear you are in your initial post to a group like that, you can only provide so much perspective on the situation in writing. It’s REALLY hard to write a post that gives the whole picture.  Furthermore, even if you wrote THE PERFECT POST, it will quickly become obvious that commentors don’t always read closely enough.  They will miss key aspects of your inquiry, they will assume things based on their own experience that are contrary to yours, it’s just a mixed bag.

I’ve talked about Facebook groups multiple times here on the show so I won’t rehash all of that. There is SO much good to come from those groups; just do me a favor and don’t count on that feedback for really important decisions, okay?

My fifth point of consideration today is this:  Don’t wait to write your communications.  I’ve talked about this here on the podcast before, but, again, I think this is really timely as we head into the end of another school year and begin thinking about policy and tuition updates for next year.

Once you’ve made your decisions, go ahead and start drafting your communications.  Don’t wait.  For instance, I send out all of my summer information and fall updates the first week of May.  It’s a little late, but I like to send it out after my spring recital when everyone is keenly aware of all the good work we’re doing here.

…but if I wait until that first week of May to begin WRITING the emails? Ugh. Not only does it strip me of MY warm fuzzy recital feelings, but it also adds the pressure of a timeline to an already-fraught decision mindset.

It’s too much to struggle with the possible aftermath of my decisions AND the actual writing of the verbiage AND the pressure of needing to send it out in the next 48 hours or whatever.

Instead, I’m crafting those emails this week. That will give me a few weeks to revise, and then I’ll be able to schedule them to go out and take that enormous amount of pressure off my Early May Self.

So, friends, there you have it: Five considerations when it comes to Piano Teacher Decision Making.

1: Our decisions are rarely as black and white as Right vs. Wrong

2: Before you sweat over details and outcomes, Name What Matters Most

3: Don’t forget to consider what YOU want

4: Seek wise counsel – even if you need to pay for it

5: Avoid writing difficult studio communications on a short deadline. Give yourself time.

Let’s go ahead and toast ourselves out of here for today, and then we’ll celebrate Teacher Friend of the Week.

Studio Teacher Friends from all around the world: Today we rejoice that we are in good company. If you ever feel stuck in a cycle of overthinking or struggle with the overwhelm of possibilities in our profession, you are not alone. Let’s remember that deep thinking IS a super power. When it comes to decision making, I would rather think too much than think too little.  But may we also remember that decisions are more nuanced than Right vs. Wrong.  Let’s shake off the pressure to choose from only two things, to assign moral value where there is none, and to remember: we cannot predict the future.  Choices are just choices. We make them, give them time, and then we reassess and change our minds if necessary. This is me, raising my glass to you, friends: Here, here.

It’s time for Teacher Friend of the Week!  This week’s TFOTW is none other than my good pal, Janna Williamson. I *HAVE* to give Janna a shout today because she is one of those voices of wise counsel in my life. I’ve said this a million places online, but Janna has taught me this:  AFTER we make our decisions, we cannot determine if our choice was successful or not until we GIVE IT TIME. Don’t try to assess whether you made the right call or not while things are still new.  You can’t be too close to the situation.  At the risk of sounding like a broken record, your decisions are just decisions.  They’re not inherently good or bad. Your choices are just choices.

So anyway, THANKS to Janna Williamson and CONGRATS on being Teacher Friend of the Week.

Incidentally, Janna and I are hatching a plan to lead a cohort of teachers through principles of Intermediate Teaching next fall.  More details to come, of course, but if you want to get first dibs on the details, you can sign up for the mailing list at the link in today’s shownotes.

The idea for this Intermediate Teaching Cohort was first born in a session of Teachers Teaching Teachers, which is a monthly bonus conversation for SuperFriends in my Patreon Community.  If you’re looking for a lowstakes commitment to professional development while also supporting my work here on this show, sign up today!  All those details, again, can be found in today’s shownotes at ChristinaWhitlock.com/episode212.

Thanks so much, my Teacher Friends!  As always, I appreciate YOU for being in my life and for cheering me on this journey. It is truly my honor to be with you on the journey.  Onward and upward, friends!