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Episode 215: Cheers to Overcoming an Empty Inspiration Tank

Well, hello there, my studio teacher friends!  Welcome to the Beyond Measure Podcast.  My name is Christina Whitlock, and I’ve already declared myself to be your Anytime Piano Teacher Friend.

This show is for anyone who appreciates the HUMANITY of music teaching.  We talk a lot about the soft skills, the emotional intelligence required in this work… and, of course, whatever else happens to be on my mind.  I run this show all by myself, supported by some of THE best music teachers on Planet Earth, who are members of my SuperFriends Community on Patreon. That crew fuels my motivation for this show, and they also make sure I don’t have to sell ads for vitamins I may or may not actually like.  Yep, we’re all about authenticity in this space, and those SuperFriends who support me on Patreon have my gratitude for life. I’d love to see you over there; just check out ChristinaWhitlock.com/community to find out what surprises await you for joining.

And now, let’s get on with the show!  This is Episode 215 of the Beyond Measure Podcast.

The number one question I get asked is this: Are you ALWAYS this happy?

And, friends… while this cheeriness you’ve come to expect from me here on the show really IS my natural disposition, the answer is most definitely, NO.  I do not always feel this happy, and I definitely have low-energy days.

Sure, we COULD take a psychological deep dive on the fact that my enthusiasm is a learned behavior from childhood, having realized very early on that the easiest way to find acceptance in social circles was to be the most excited person in the room… but we’ll save that one for another time.

Today, I’m speaking RIGHT into the life many of you are living this time of year: Trying to overcome an empty inspiration tank.  Put simply, some of you are waking up these days thinking, “I just don’t want to do this today.”

…and I’m here to help.

We’re going to talk about WHY so many of us feel like we’re running on empty this time of year, what we can do about it, and why it doesn’t even matter as much as you might think it does.

So let’s start with this: There’s an old story that first appeared in a DC comic in 1986. It’s about a man who goes to the doctor. He says he is hopelessly depressed, and life has lost all its meaning. The doctor listens, and then says, “I know just the thing!” The famous clown, Pagliacci, is in town. You absolutely MUST go see him. No one can be sad in the presence of the great Pagliacci.”  To which the man broke down in tears and said, “That’s the thing. I AM the Great Pagliacci.”

(End scene)

For the record, there’s an old episode of Beyond Measure called Cheers to Pulling Yourself Out of a Funk; it’s episode 40, and that advice still holds up. More than anything else, that episode reminds us that, as music teachers, one of the BEST things we can do is to go play our instruments. My friends are often surprised when I tell them how easy it is to fall into a trap of being a music teacher who barely plays her instrument. We’re all prone to this, but it’s often the most logical step in filling our inspiration tanks back up.  Play – truly PLAY – your instrument.

So that was back in Episode 40. However, here we are in the month of May, and SO MANY TEACHERS are finding themselves feeling like  life has been sucked right out of them.

There’s something to the Pagliacci phenomenon, right?  We spend our days being cheerleaders for everyone else, and as summer glistens on the horizon, that magic just gets tired. I don’t know; there’s just something about this time of year that seems to aim a magnifying glass right at any inklings of burnout we may be experiencing.

And that’s actually my first point for today: There’s something about May. It’s a very low-energy time of year for me. It’s never made total sense to me, because it seems like I should be perking up as the weather gets warmer and the sun is shining more. I get a little tiny burst of that on our first few nice days, but it’s short-lived, and quickly seems to trade itself for exhaustion.

I have many theories: Maybe it’s just because we’ve all just gone through the wringer of tax season.

(Mostly kidding on that one, but not entirely)

I think there’s a natural letdown after the hustle and bustle of my studio’s spring activities are over. Festivals are wrapped up, our studio recital is done, and MOST of my student’s competitive events are done. We do still have one more state competition to get through at the end of this month.

But – just like that adrenaline crash that comes the day after a big performance, I think there’s a natural sense of BLAH that comes when everything you’ve been working the past several weeks and months is over.

Furthermore, if you’ve spent any amount of time in the university environment… as a student, as a faculty member, or both… you know the circus the end of spring semester becomes. I’m a few years removed from faculty responsibilities, and MANY years removed from being a student, yet there’s a sense of panic and deeply-rooted anxiety that ramps up for me in March and April that I attribute to too many years spent in that environment.

There’s something about spring semester in academia. Too much is expected of everyone, all around. So much of the semester’s results hang on those final few weeks of the term and then it comes to a crashing halt and you’re left wondering, “what now?”.  I think it’s jarring, and I honestly believe it’s altered my brain chemistry around springtime.

I say ALL OF THIS to let you know, struggling to find inspiration or energy this time of year is natural, and, to be expected in at least some form. So… if you find yourself waking up, thinking, “I just don’t want to do this today”, take heart: you don’t actually hate your job (at least, I don’t think you do), your students still love you, even though they get squirrely this time of year, and most importantly: YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS and find your joy again.

One of my favorite books is written by Kelly Corrigan, and it’s called Tell Me More: Stories about the 12 Hardest Things I’m Learning to Say. The first phrase Kelly shares in the book is something like, “Life. It’s like this.” Which is just this exhale of truth that acknowledges, sigh. This is life. Stuff happens. Life: It’s Like This.

Speaking of Kelly Corrigan: I’ve heard her tell a story about the first time she experienced a Bonafide panic attack. I’m going to paraphrase because I couldn’t find the actual story. She was given the name of a respected therapist, who basically told her, “Until you are getting 8 hours of sleep a night, drinking (whatever) ounces of water each day, moving your body for X minutes a day, and cutting your caffeine intake, I have nothing for you.”

This is NOT to say ANYONE should delay getting mental health assistance. Don’t let these words be a stumbling block. That’s like someone saying they need to clean their life up before they start going to church. That is SO not the point.

But it DOES drive home the reminder that our Personhood is housed in a body. And that body needs certain things to function.  It needs sleep – often more than we think it does.  It needs water, movement, and nutrients.

So if you are feeling all tapped out, these are excellent things for you to examine. AND seeing a therapist can also be a great thing.

If we work off my primary theory for today: That one of the reasons we feel funk-ish in May is because we’ve been going full-speed ahead toward whatever targets we’ve been preparing for, and once they’re accomplished, we can’t help but be left with a feeling of, “now what?” or “is that it?”, I think it’s important to examine how we’ve been treating our actual body.

Personally, I’ve been dealing with some knee issues all year and it’s made my relationship with exercise a challenge.

Two weeks ago, at the start of my own personal May Funk, I committed to concentrate more on stretching and mobility. I know I’ve always been guilty of neglecting these types of movements, focusing on things like cardio and strength training, but these mid-40’s are calling and I’m finally starting to listen to all the advice that FLEXIBILITY is an essential investment as you age.

Anyway, I’m telling you this because – at least as a temporary fix – I never feel better in my day than when I’m done with a 30-minute stretch and mobility session. Seriously. When your joints feel good and your muscles feel long…when you’ve released all the things that have built up inside your body, it’s hard to top that feeling.

Physical movement is essential to completing what we call The Stress Cycle. I talked more about that in Episode 134, where I examined the book, Burnout, by the Nagoski sisters. That book is relevant to today’s thoughts for obvious reasons.

So, I know…. It’s nothing revolutionary for me to remind you that physical movement is important. You’ve certainly heard that before, but that’s my take.

In addition to examining how we treat our bodies, I think these seasons of crashing energy are great reminders to put our Teacher Lives back into perspective.

Like MANY of you listening, I’m guilty of letting my Teacher Identity take over pretty much every aspect of my life.  I think it’s a definite trap for piano teachers; letting teaching infiltrate every area of our lives… so let’s take a moment to zoom out and put everything back in perspective, shall we?

I love the reminder that we are Human BEINGS, not Human DOINGS, right?  Vanessa Cornett and I discussed that last summer in Episode 180.

Our experience in this life is found in who we are, not in what we do. That’s always been a tough one for me. I like to prove my worth through action… which is a mindset that has led me in wrong and dangerous directions many times in my life.

Since life as a musician and as a teacher is FULL of action (there is so much to DO all the time!), it’s very hard to know who we are outside of those responsibilities. I can’t help but bring my Teacher Self with me everywhere I go.  It plays out in the need to reassure the new waitress that she’s doing a great job, it finds me awake at odd hours of the night thinking about repertoire for my students, and, of course, there’s that nagging inner voice that is ALWAYS telling me I should go practice.

Even still, the true essence of Christina Whitlock supersedes all those things. And the same goes for you.

So, as we look for how to fill out Inspiration Tanks back up, I think we have to look inward and do some introspective work.

Who ARE you, outside of your Teacher Life?  Like, what defining qualities make you, YOU? Experience has taught me that I often trade in things that are important to me during these busy spring months because I’ve convinced myself I have to. But when I’ve let my own sense of purpose and self get lost in the shuffle of spring, it is absolutely NO WONDER why I feel depleted and inspiration-less come May. My inner compass feels like its spinning round and round in circles.

I’ve already over-shared a lot in today’s episode already, so I guess I’ll just keep going…

I’ll confess an example of losing my compass that makes me feel SO guilty: A huge stressor for me this spring has been the fact that I have done a terrible job preparing my own children for their performance events.  Terrible might be an overstatement. They’ve had good results so I guess I’ve done SOMETHING right. But as events got closer, I kept finding myself giving up valuable time for me to be working with my own children, in the name of helping other kids succeed.

I’ve been terrible at encouraging (or enforcing) practice time at home. I just gave up on trying to fight the good fight. I’ve let my own procrastination leak onto my children, ultimately leaving them feeling less secure in performance than any of us want them to be.

If it’s not obvious, I am harboring a tremendous sense of guilt over this. And, I know, that’s not helping anything. But it has drawn my attention to the fact that, when I think about WHO I AM and WHO I ASPIRE TO BE, sitting pretty high on the list is being a parent who helps her children nurture their abilities and who uses her special skillsets to help THEM shine and set them up for success.

Yes, it’s great that I do this for other people’s children. I know I’m doing good work there. But at the end of the day, I need to prioritize my own kids or we’re all going to be miserable.

So there’s that…

And maybe that’s the gift of the Empty Inspiration Tank?  Maybe it gives us perspective on how we want to show up in the world, and what’s getting in our way. Maybe it teaches us that we can’t rely on external factors and deadlines and projects to feel like contributors to this world.

Maybe the empty inspiration tank forces us to look at ourselves as a human being, and not a human doing.

…but speaking of Doing…

We’ll finish today’s conversation with a look at one important truth, also bandied about the internet quite a bit lately: Motivation Follows Action, not the other way around.

MEANING: if we sit around and wait for ourselves to FEEL LIKE doing the thing, we’ll wait way too long. More often than not, getting started is the solution to an empty inspiration tank.

If I wake up with a case of the “I don’t want to’s”, I try to start with three things:  I’ll start one load of laundry, I’ll start our Roomba vacuum, and I’ll either load or unload the dishwasher (depending on whether or not we ran it the night before). Those are three SIMPLE tasks that give me just enough forward momentum to get my day going.

What can you do as an easy onramp to the day?  Think about it.  Maybe it’s just getting INTO your studio. I’ve said this a million times: just BEING in your studio space before your students arrive is inspiring. You could – again – play your instrument… you could put a few books away… you could stare at your students’ photos on your wall… whatever!  Being in your teaching space ALONE is a great way to cope with an empty inspiration tank.

But here’s a really big takeaway for today.  Are you ready?  So, you don’t feel inspired. You don’t want to teach today. It doesn’t ACTUALLY matter, does it? You just need to show up. You don’t have to feel like it; you just need to do it. Your inspiration tank does not HAVE to be full in order for you to be successful at your job.

We all get a little spoiled because, for most of us, there ARE seasons of our Teacher Life where we feel really motivated. Talk to me in September and I’m probably going to be riding high on The Wave of Inspiration.

And – because our students’ lesson experiences are the sum of a whole collection of lessons? We don’t have to feel excited to show up every single day. That’s not a healthy expectation. Even when you have an overly-enthusiastic personality like mine; there are PLENTY of days where I just want to fast-forward to the end of my lessons for the day. I think that’s called having a job sometimes. The good news is that my work doesn’t feel like that EVERY day.

So those are some thoughts I’m having around this Funk of May.  I would love to know if I’m just projecting my own feelings onto you, or if you feel a similar way this time of year.  If you’re listening on Spotify, you can now leave a comment on this episode and tell me all about it. You can also find me on social media at Beyond Measure Podcast.  I would love to chat with you about your thoughts.

OH!  ONE MORE THING about dealing with Empty Inspiration Tanks:

Find something that inspires you. I keep an actual list of things that make me feel good. Sitting at the top of that list is spending time with other teachers. SO: in an attempt to invest in the things that light me up, I’ve decided to host a LIVE series of lunchtime conversations, where I walk teachers through some of the content and exercises from my Studio Foundations Course.

This is for everyone who has purchased my Foundations Course in the past. I think many of us know, it’s easy to purchase an online course and then do nothing with it. Ahem. Being left to the whims of our own schedule does not always serve us in the professional development department.

SO, I thought I’d add a little personal connection to help those who have purchased the Studio Foundations Course work their way through the material.

NEXT WEEK (woohoo!): I am going to host some one hour work sessions through the principles found in the Studio Foundations Course. We’ll meet at 12:30pm, eastern standard time, on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday (that’s May 19, 20, and 22). These work sessions will be open to anyone who has purchased the Studio Foundations Course, or who purchases it this week.

I know it’s short notice, but the more I worked on this episode, the more apparent it became that I could REALLY use a jolt to my Teacher Inspiration, and nothing will accomplish that more effectively than spending time with YOU GUYS.

Again, this is designed for course alumni, but if you have not yet purchased the Studio Foundations course, you can head to ChristinaWhitlock.com/foundations to read all about it. I will just say this: The Studio Foundations course is NOT a piano pedagogy course. In fact, teachers of all instruments and voice types have reported it as beneficial.  Instead, this is a compilation of 14 guiding principles that fuel your understanding of the Human Condition as it applies to Studio Music Teachers. It’s all the stuff you know I love to talk about; how to work effectively with PEOPLE, tried-and-true principles about the art of teaching itself, and other truths that no one else seems to be talking about.

I set up a discount code for anyone wanting to get in on these live sessions. If you purchase the course between now and May 22^nd, you can save $15 with code lunchpd (all one word, all lowercase letters). All of that info is located in the shownotes for today’s episode, so check it out!

I’m BEYOND excited to hang with my Foundations Course alumni next week! You should have already received an email about these sessions, but if you have any questions, hit me up at [email protected].  That’s [email protected].

PHEW, FRIENDS!  That’s a lot. I may have set a record for the amount of over-sharing I’ve done in this episode, but I hope it was worth it. NOW: let’s toast ourselves out of here and celebrate our Teacher Friend of the Week!  Grab a glass and hike it to the sky!

Studio Music Teacher Friends from all around the world: Today we count ourselves fortunate to work in environments where we so often feel inspired. We also acknowledge the fact that it is unrealistic to expect ourselves to ALWAYS feel that way. May we continue to look inward to the person we are, outside of teaching, outside of projects and deadlines. Let’s remain true to ourselves and to those we love. I celebrate you today.  Hear, hear!

This week’s Teacher Friend of the Week is someone whose inspiration tank is SURELY full, because she’s been on a mind-blowing trip through Iceland and Ireland the past few weeks. Yes, Tara Mock, congratulations on being Teacher Friend of the Week!  I think you are THE PERFECT example of beating the May Funk.  Getting out of the country, spending time with the people you love, seeing incredible things, ah. I’ve been living vicariously through your incredible photos lately and am SO happy to see such a hard-working teacher get to enjoy such an adventure.  Tara is a faithful supporter of mine in the Patreon Community and I am grateful for her and the role she plays in keeping this show on the air. So, Congratulations, Tara Mock, on being Teacher Friend of the Week!

That’s all I have for you today, friends!  Keep on keeping on, remember Life: It’s like this, and I will see you next week. Onward and upward for sure.