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Episode 240: Cheers to Three Things I’m Re-Thinking    

Well, hello there, my studio teacher friends!  Welcome to the Beyond Measure Podcast. Christina Whitlock here – your self-appointed ANYTIME piano teacher friend – ready to serve you up your weekly dose of music teacher camaraderie.  This podcast is brought to you ad-free by the generous support of my Patreon Community. That crew is the ONLY reason this show continues to hit the airwaves so I want to give them a big hearty shoutout today. If you are part of the Superfriends community, I appreciate you!  If you are not part of it – assuming you enjoy this show, it would be the most wonderful holiday gift if you would try it out. You can choose to support the show for $3 or $6, paid monthly or annually, cancel at any time… you have options, friends.  Thanks again to my Superfriends – past, present, and future – for the way you encourage me and help me keep the lights on over here at Beyond Measure.

Let’s get on with the show, friends!  You are listening to episode 240 of the Beyond Measure Podcast.

I’d mentioned a few weeks ago that the remainder of episodes for 2025 will be reflective in nature. Last week, Amy Chaplin joined me for an episode pairing of What’s Working and What’s Not Working… that was super fun.

This week, I wanted to share some things I’m Reconsidering lately. I’ve long thought of doing this type of episode, maybe even once a quarter like I do with the What’s Working episodes… mostly because I want to encourage all of us that IT’S OKAY to change your mind… or even to just THINK about changing your mind.

Adam Grant has a wonderful book called Think Again. In the prologue, he says this: “We favor the comfort of conviction over the discomfort of doubt and we let our beliefs get brittle long before our bones.” (ouch)

He goes on to say, “We laugh at people who still use Windows 95, yet we cling to opinions we formed in 1995. We listen to views that make us feel good, instead of ideas that make us think hard.”

I should say this: I’ve never been the kind of person to feel CERTAIN about much. I actually change my mind a lot. I’ve always been one to see both sides of an argument. That sounds altruistic, but it’s actually very difficult to live in our world with that mentality. Our society favors the certain. Most of us roll our eyes at people on the extreme ends of the political aisle, and yet – anymore, they’re the only people who can get anything done. Any hint at uncertainty or considering opposing views is seen as weakness. As a betrayal to the cause. And it FREAKS ME OUT.

Of course, it’s not just politics… it’s everything. We need to recognize science is going to evolve. Societal norms will change. Research from the 70’s might need to be revisited.

Ya’ll know I can’t even settle on one teaching method. I can’t bring myself to believe there will ever be one system that works for every student.  Yet if you read through comments in Facebook teacher groups, there is so much CERTAINTY. And it’s easy to be drawn to that confidence.  It’s attractive to think someone has cracked the code on these timeless dilemmas of our profession.

What about teachers and studio owners who hand over many thousands of dollars every year to coaches who promise them CERTAINTY.  They say they have THE proven solution to grow your studio, or to build retention. So many promises of how to charge more and teach less.  Certainty sells, friends.  But it also limit and deceives.

It teaches us that something is wrong with us if we want to change our minds. It keeps us stuck in old systems of thinking that are no longer serving us OR our students. We are afraid of facing the reality that we might have been wrong… or misinformed… or underprepared.

It’s such a blow to our ego, right?  But it doesn’t have to be.

It took me somewhere around 40 years on this planet before I realized my LACK of certainty was a strength. I’ve spent my life feeling bulldozed by people who were louder and more sure than me. I’ve been envious of people who can look at complex situations and feel sure they know EXACTLY what to do. But I’m starting to realize there is power in sharing about doubt and openly speaking about what I’m reconsidering.

So that’s the point of today’s episode. It’s important to note: I’m sharing things I’m reconsidering today. Not things I’ve changed my mind about. I haven’t decided where to land on any of the things I’m sharing today; I’m simply sharing things I’ve been wondering about. Not because I’ve come to any decisions; I’m just bringing you along on the messy thought process.  These are the things I’d love to sit with you and chat about over a cup of coffee because I’d love to know what you think, too. So: Are you ready for this? Let’s go…

First up today, I’m re-thinking the way we title ourselves – and our students – as musicians.  Hang with me here. The first time I ever heard Randy Faber speak (yes, Randy Faber of the Piano Adventures empire), he referenced the Self Determination Theory. This is a theory that proposes how we, as humans, are motivated. It’s built on three components: competence, relatedness, and autonomy. It’s a whole thing; if you’re looking for a good rabbit hole to wander down, you might enjoy reading up on Self-Determination Theory.  As part of this talk, Randy made a big deal about helping our students see MUSICIAN as a core part of their identity. I made it my mission in that moment that I would prioritize helping my students see themselves as musicians at a core level.  I wanted Johnny to see himself as a brother, son, friend, and musician. I mean, everyone sees themselves as something. Musician might as well be on the list, right? Well, I’m re-thinking that…

I’m wondering about the ways we limit ourselves when we assume a pressurized title like MUSICIAN. It’s like calling yourself a vocalist (or a singer):  everyone can sing… but when you tell someone you’re a trained singer, there’s a whole heap of expectations that come with that. Right? Tell me I’m not the only one.  I can sing well. I know I can.  And yet, I *never* refer to myself as a singer. I feel like this world of ours throws a whole heap of judgement on you once you title yourself a vocalist. Am I wrong? I don’t think so…

Truthfully, I’m always much happier playing the piano for people who don’t know I have piano performance degrees and have dedicated pretty much my entire life to this thing. It’s nice to surprise people by being able to play, rather than dealing with the expectations they carry (or, those I imagine they carry) once they know this is my life’s work.

Let the record show: I hate this reality. I do. I wish these things weren’t true… and sometimes they’re not and the problem is the pressure we put on ourselves. But labels CAN be tricky and I’m beginning to wonder if assimilating this artform into our identity is really for the best.

Here’s what got me thinking: Earlier this fall, I was having a conversation with a student who was dealing with some ongoing injuries from sports. She was lamenting over being benched for the season and she said, “sports and music are the things that make me me so when I can’t do one of them, it’s like I don’t even know who I am or what I should do.”

Hearing that breaks my heart. Of course, those two activities don’t define who she is as a person. Nowhere close.  They are not nearly the most interesting or important things about her.

…but she’s not an exception in this way. Lots of our students define themselves by things that are only tiny fractions of the humans they are.

I’m just wondering how to best convey to my students that they ARE musical beings. It can’t be taken from them. Whether they practice or not, whether they perform or not… they ARE musical. And I *want* them to know that and I want them to feel it as part of their being. But I don’t want them to feel crippled by the expectations that come by labeling themselves as musicians. I don’t want them to feel as though they are failing or disappointing their core selves when they don’t perform the way they want to. Ugh. Big no to that one…

Obviously there’s a lot of nuance here. As I warned you, I don’t have any answers; t’s simply something I’m re-thinking. Whether or not “musician” belongs at the core of my students’ identity, or if it’s just something they do.

I’m going to change gears in a pretty big way for my second reconsideration.  Have you ever been part of a group where some members just can’t be happy because they want everything to be like it was in the past?  Maybe teacher group or a church congregation who just wants to do everything like they did in the 90’s?  This happens all the time, in every kind of organization I can think of. We get nostalgic for the good ole days and don’t always like the way groups evolve with current circumstances.

(Sidenote: It’s important to remember there are two different things at play here:  There’s the way things actually WERE in the past, and there’s the way WE REMEMBER THEM. Those are not the same).

Anyway, I’m beginning to find myself in that same position when it comes to social media. Sigh. And I’m not alone. A lot of us are hanging onto social media because of what it was once-upon-a-time.  I know I’ve gone after social media before – here on the pod and in my Piano Teacher Confessions e-letter – but hang with me here.

I’ve been doing some serious thinking about why ANY of us are still using social media. Most of us will say it’s because we like keeping tabs on family and friends we wouldn’t otherwise be able to keep in touch with. The problem is, unless you develop some SERIOUS discipline and big time workarounds, there is no social media platform out there that cares about connecting you with your loved ones so you can see pictures of the grandkids. The game has changed. But we’re still here scrolling. Maybe this was the goal all along; maybe it changed along the way. I don’t know. But I do know it’s different, and we’re not getting it back.

I’m not here to offer moral judgements on use of social media. I’m not on any kind of high horse or trying to push any kind of agenda. I’ve just been seriously wondering WHY these apps still have such a chokehold on us.

I’m not the first to tell you: when you use a service for free, you ARE the product. So the vast majority of the content you are pushed on social media is to keep you scrolling. It’s to sell you things. It’s to build audiences for influencers so they can sell you things. And too many of us underestimate how influenced we are by the content we consume. We think we’re ignoring ads, but I’m here to tell you: companies pay for these partnerships because they WORK. People show up and present themselves as relatable so they can build your trust, with the end goal of selling you things. Maybe it’s their thing, maybe it’s someone else’s…  but the majority of content you are fed online is fueling some kind of consumerist agenda. It just is.

Now, here’s where it gets tricky:  I LOVE the people and the accounts I actually follow on social media. I’ve built real relationships there with lots of teachers. My DM’s are always hopping with fun conversations between teacher friends. I’ve convinced myself that THIS is why it’s worth it.

Plus – let’s not forget – I built this show on social media.  I think it’s safe to say most of you listening found me through social channels.  I don’t want to give that up, and I don’t want to miss out on new friends I might be able to find online.

But again – it’s like wishing for the 90’s again. Five years ago, Instagram was a very different place. It was easier to see the material I wanted to see. AND – I felt like I still had some degree of control over the content I posted.  Now, maybe I did and maybe I didn’t… but there’s a sinister truth now that the things we post and the things we write are all getting scraped and mined and it’s being used for a whole host of reasons.

I’m not an alarmist. Again, I’m not here to pass moral judgements on AI (though there are plenty to be made). I am saying the simple truth that I am increasingly uncomfortable with the terms and conditions of these platforms and the fact that my work and my photos are being used for purposes that far exceed my intent.

I’m not dumb; I’ve always known that posting things on the internet is anything but private. But I used to think my life was an open book and I was simply too “ordinary” for anyone to care about stealing from.  I’m now seeing that everyday, average people like me; those who seek to show up online exactly as they are, might actually be the highest commodity when it comes to data mining and AI training.

So that’s the deal: I don’t have plans to make a big dramatic exit from social media, but I am wondering why we are all there. When it comes down to it, I can’t say I’ve made any great NEW friends on socials this year. I have a BUNCH of you from 3, 4, 5 years ago… but I’m not sure I’ve connected with anyone new there recently in a meaningful way.  Again, it’s not what the platforms are built for anymore.

We all know social media is fueling division and it’s getting harder and harder to tell what’s real.  It’s tough to gauge who’s authentic and who’s just really good at pretending to be. We know it builds unhealthy expectations for what our homes and relationships and bodies should look like.  There’s so much ICK to social media these days.

The platforms are totally capitalizing on the place we’ve given them in our lives, and we’re too used to the routine to realize their game has changed.

Again, no answers here; it’s just what I’m re-thinking these days.

AND: that leads me directly into the third thing I’ve been reconsidering… which is kind of a toughie to admit, but I am seriously reconsidering where I’m putting my work on the internet.

When I first launched Beyond Measure and it got some nice early traction, I had several bigger-name creators asking me what my end-goal was. They were like, “What are you building here, Christina?”

…and the truth is, I’ve never known. I knew I wanted to contribute to this profession I love so much. I knew I had some perspectives I’d like more teachers to consider, and I knew I wanted to bring teachers together. That was enough for me then, and it’s still enough now.

I’m thrilled to say I’ve done all three of those things. And I’m not done yet. So don’t panic; this isn’t some kind of goodbye. Remember: no decisions have been made; these are just things I’m re-thinking.

…but much like social media, content creation is in a weird place now. It’s weird with questions around who can use my ideas in the future, it’s weird with who’s REALLY generating income from my words… it’s just weird all around.

Again, I’m not naive.  In fact, when people ask me about whether or not they should start a podcast, I always start by telling them they need to do some serious soul-searching about how they feel about other people using their ideas without credit.  I hate that this is the world we live in, but it’s true. The moment you start sharing ideas online – whether that be in a facebook group or leaving a comment on a blog or whatever – you open yourself up to be copied.

Since this show exists to help teachers, I’ve never been too worried about my ideas spreading without me. To some extent, that’s the point.  And yet. I *do* care about fair attribution, and I *do* care about proper compensation for ideas.

…and, without boring you with too many details, I’ll just say I’m opening myself up to many possibilities around how I work with teachers in the future.  I’m rethinking platforms and formats and frequency and all the things.

Will any of it change?  Who knows at this point… but I’m thinking about it. 😊 And that’s the whole point of this episode.

So, friends, I’ll leave it there.  As you can probably guess, there’s a lot here that’s been left UNSAID, but now you know a few of the things rolling around in my brain these days.

I would love to know something YOU’RE re-thinking these days. Again, there’s a big difference between re-thinking and changing your mind.  I’d love to know what you’re wondering about.  Feel free to drop me an email at [email protected] if you’d like to share.

Let’s have a toast and move on with our day, okay?

Studio teacher friends from all around the world: today we recognize how important it is to open our minds to reconsideration, whether we ultimately decide to change anything or not. To paraphrase Adam Grant, may our beliefs not get brittle before our bones, right?  Big things, small things… things of consequence and things of not… let’s all commit to a little re-thinking this week, shall we?  You’re the best people to brainstorm these ideas with and I appreciate you so much. This is me, raising my glass to you, friends.  Hear, hear.

Big thoughts today friends, and I appreciate your hanging around for them. I hope I’ve inspired you to embrace uncertainty and lean into the unique questions of your heart today. Thanks for indulging me and listening to some of mine!  As always, until next week, friends….  onward and upward!