Well hello, my teacher friends!  Christina Whitlock here, host of this podcast and your self-proclaimed, Anytime Piano Teacher Friend. Thanks for joining me this summer as I continue to highlight favorite episodes from the Beyond Measure archives. This podcast has always been designed to serve as a few minutes of solidarity to bolster one another through the ups and downs of our chosen profession. And, when I say ups and downs, I mean it.  We all have days when we feel on top of our game, and, likewise, we all have days where we wonder if we know anything at all. Today, I’m thinking about those peaks and valleys, and offering what I HOPE is a timely encouragement to you. This episode originally aired as number 121 of the Beyond Measure Podcast, but it’s every bit as timely today as it was in 2023.  Let’s get to it! Thanks for listening – and relistening – to the Beyond Measure Podcast.

I think we’ve all grown up hearing metaphors like, “a chain is only as strong as its weakest link”.  Right?

Well, I obviously agree… I mean, I certainly don’t want to trust a chain with a rotten link.  However, I think this idea sometimes seeps its way into other areas of our thinking, where it doesn’t necessarily apply.  Like, music lessons.  😊

Have you ever felt discouraged by one less-than-stellar lesson?  Have you ever found yourself replaying a single studio interaction in your head over and over again?  Have you felt guilty or frustrated with yourself over a lesson that didn’t feel as successful as you wanted it to be?

Well, if you couldn’t already guess, I have been there.  As a chronic over-thinker (an affliction many of you share, incidentally), I am definitely guilty of perseverating on all the things I could have/would have/should have done differently.

The thing is, though, our students’ experience is not shaped by one specific interaction. Our student experiences are based on the sum of the whole. In other words, what matters is the overall accumulation of months – or YEARS – of lessons. One bad lesson – however you define that – is not going to destroy the legacy you’ve built for yourself.

(I’m, of course, not including colossally poor decisions or any kind of moral/ethical failures in this ponderance)

If you feel like you had kind of an “off” day… maybe you were a little short-tempered or maybe you were REALLY distracted… this is just part of LIFE, my friend.  You have to give yourself some slack.  Your student relationships will withstand fluctuations in our day-to-day lives.

Maybe you completely confused your student introducing dominant seventh chords and you had to spend almost the entire lesson back-tracking to try and get your student to feel confident in their work again. It’s OKAY.  Your worst teaching day is one tallymark out of… how many?  Usually a LOT of tallymarks, right?  Generally speaking, students are going to take a LOT of lessons with you.  Their perspective on lessons will ultimately be based on the sum of their whole experience.  If you teach a weak lesson, take note of your shortcoming, make a plan to correct course the following week, and MOVE ON. It is NOT realistic to expect yourself to be fully on top of your game every lesson of every week.

I suppose it’s fair to ALSO remind you that we shouldn’t judge ourselves too strongly on our BEST teaching days, either.  I have certainly had days where I feel like I’ve led every student to significant ah-ha moments.  The ones where everyone is making notable improvements and, I don’t know… I feel like Snow White feeding the birds.  The entire universe is delighted with me and my work.  😊

Those are good days.  Don’t get me wrong.  But I’m also setting myself up for disappointment if I expect EVERY teaching day to feel just like that.  The truth is, I’m not ALWAYS going to come up with the perfect analogy that makes that lightbulb appear over my students’ head.  I’m not ALWAYS going to come up with perfectly clever lyrics to sing over top of their musical phrases.  I’m not ALWAYS going to have an infinite supply of patience.  (deep breath)

I wish those WERE fair expectations, but they’re just not.  I’ve come to realize our students’ takeaway from their lessons is much more likely to resemble how we are on our “meh” days.  😊  You know… not the days you feel completely on top of the world, but also not the days you feel down.  Those AVERAGE days.  The ones where you are just there.  Doing your work the best you can. Nothing special or over the top.  THOSE are the best indicators of what kind of experience you’re giving your students.

…and, it probably goes without saying, but we need to bring this same consideration to our students themselves!  We evaluate our students constantly.  I know.  It’s our job.  And – any honest teacher will tell you – we have students we enjoy more than others at any given time.  It’s not that any single student is our favorite all the time; it’s a moving target; constantly in-flux.

BECAUSE – guess what?  OUR experience with OUR students is based on…. You guessed it!  The sum of our whole experience with them. Or, at least, it should be.  We all know the path to becoming a great musician is not tracked like a perfectly ascending line across a progress map.  It’s not how this works. Progress is messy.  It’s not linear.  And, in the end, it’s very much a sum of one’s entire musical experience. The sum of the whole.

I’m recording this episode today because I keep finding myself coming back to this idea in other areas of my work.  I presented a session on dealing with busy teens at MTNA and this is a really strong point of that presentation.  A 12-week soccer season can definitely put a damper on linear progress for a piano student.  BUT, it doesn’t mean the sum of their entire experience needs to go down the toilet.

A student working through an emotional struggle may appear suddenly more difficult to work with in a lesson, but those difficulties do not negate all the work you’ve previously done.

A student who stops taking lessons does not get rid of everything you’ve taught them. They carry with them the sum of their whole experience.

Isn’t that encouraging, friends?  Isn’t it a lovely change of pace to remember you are NOT only as good as the last lesson you taught?  Isn’t it refreshing to hear that we are – contrary to popular opinion – allowed to have low-energy days.  We ARE allowed to feel a little “meh” about our work from time to time.

The beauty of understanding the SUM of the WHOLE is the way it allows you to reflect on your work on a broad scale.

Do you dread EVERY SINGLE LESSON with that one student?  Has it been a year or more since you’ve felt any kind of spark teaching them?  Well, friend… that might be indicative of a larger issue.

Do you CONSISTENTLY feel behind in your lesson preparations?  Not just for a week or two, but ALL THE TIME? Well, that’s indicative of a larger issue.

Anyway – I hope this is a helpful reminder today.  Let’s stop trying to judge ourselves – or our students – on our best or worst days. What really matters in this relationship is the sum of the whole experience.

Let’s toast:

Studio Music Teacher friends from all over the world, today I release you from this idea that you have to be 100% on for every lesson, every day. Now – it is true we need to bring our best to each lesson – but our best is going to look different from day to day and season to season. As long as you are showing up with the best you have to offer TODAY, we’re all in great shape.  May we know this truth for ourselves, and may we help our students understand the same thing.  Because – let’s never forget – our students are generally hoping to impress US as well.  Let’s focus on big-picture goals, rather than the fluctuations that come with each week. Cheers to the sum of the whole, my friends!  Here, here.

Thanks for listening to episode 121, my friends!  I am so happy to be in your ears today.

I know we are all heading into intense times on the studio teacher calendar.  Stay well, my friends!  Be encouraged and remember – contrary to how it feels – there are SO. MANY. TEACHERS. who are jumping through all the hoops you are, too. May we ALL remember that we are not made or broken by one single lesson.  Rather, it’s truly the sum of the entire lesson experience.

Onward and upward, my teacher friends!  Go make it a great week!